The Art of Managing Thirds with Dr Stan Tatkin and Tracey Boldemann-Tatkin

The Art of Managing Thirds with Dr Stan Tatkin and Tracey Boldemann-Tatkin

A. What is PACT? What are “thirds”, and how do they affect the couple?
Why is it important to take a psycho-biological approach to couples therapy and what do we gain from doing that? How do these show up in relation to the couple? Why is it so important to manage them skilfully?
What are the ways that couples use thirds to prevent healthy, mutual regulation in the couple?
What must blended families do to manage thirds successfully?
Are there ways couples can actually use thirds to reinforce a secure-functioning relationship? What are the benefits of being able to do that? As a couple, can you share examples from your own experience of managing thirds as a way of strengthening relationship?

Talk to us about technology! As an example, are cell phones a new way of mediating/regulation relationship, and if so how do they help, or are they destructive “thirds”, or something else entirely different?

B. What are the kinds of skills needed to manage thirds, both for the couple and for the therapist supporting the couple?
How can couples recover when a third had damaged the relationship? Please share an example or two.
As therapists, what are ways can we support couples to manage thirds effectively? And, how do “thirds” show up in therapy, including in the therapist’s relationship with the client?

More than anything today, couples need real-life examples of secure functioning i.e. The Global Glue project and your participation in it.

C. Managing thirds, having a secure-functioning couple bubble seem to be addressing issues of creating a shared identity boundary and managing this so that a primary relationship stays healthy. Where else could you see the skills and benefits of this way of seeing human relationships be beneficial? (As in “good relationships are good for the world”, and hopefully provide skills for our social worlds to become more collaborative, safe, and creative.)

What are the skills in learning to manage thirds that we can take beyond the family? For example, awareness of managing boundaries, taking responsibility for repairing ruptures, etc.?

Where else is managing thirds applicable? For instance,
1) How can we extend this relationship practice to the devouring workplace, where people are so overworked and so fearful of losing their job, the very job that supports the family?
2) How to manage a school diagnosing a child without consulting the parents first?
4) Or, the influence of a cultural or religious practice that intrudes into the partners relationship?

The Art of Managing Thirds with Dr Stan Tatkin and Tracey Boldemann-Tatkin